Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Great Ideas Gone Nowhere

Once upon a time, I was invited to submit ideas to the Chapelle show. For several weeks, I and one of my comic friends (the very funny Jason Good) faxed in our funniest ideas. None were used, but here are some of my favorites:

(I should warn you that these pitches are, without fail, somewhat offensive. If you've seen Chapelle's show, you know that's exactly what they were looking for)


Plantation Air
Why fight racism when you can profit from it? Plantation Air is an airline run by black people for white people who still hate black people. White plantation owner types enjoy obsequious service by black employees willing to play the part of slaves in return for sky-high ticket prices. Everybody wins!

White racist passenger: “excuse me, sir, could I have another bag of those fine Virginia peanuts?”

Black crew member: “Master, you can call me nigger here. We niggas aim to please.”



Project Red Light
Competing teams of aspiring black filmmakers vie for the opportunity to be personally turned down by a white network exec. The exec consistently turns down their smart scripts while asking for something “more urban.”


Who Wants to Fuck my Sister
Dave attempts to pawn off his parasitic unemployed overweight sister to anyone willing to sleep with her in this spoof of “Who wants to marry my Dad”. Contestants include Chinese man who does not speak English, a white lesbian, a blind paraplegic, and a homeless drug addict whom Dave entices to sleep with his sister by sprinkling her with cocaine.

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