Monday, March 07, 2005

The Other Side of the (diamond-encrusted) Fence

No matter how much money you have there’s always someone around you with more – more freedom, more stuff, cooler toys. Even if you’re Bill Gates, I’m sure you end up at some party thrown by one of those Saudi princes in a gigantic gold and diamond-encrusted castle with your host surrounded by a harem and zillion slaves…

[insert hacky “middle eastern” accent here]

“Welcome Bill Gates… I am so happy to have you as a guest in my kingdom. Would you like to have sex with one of my many wives? A midget perhaps? Or the biologically altered one with three breasts? Oh, do not worry, I have had them lobotomized for to not be interrupting your pleasure.

“Now Bill, I am certain you are making a modest money with your little company.. but do you know what I have? Slaves! Do you know the profit margin on slave labor? One hundred percent! Ahahhahahahahaha. How is YOUR business model doing, my American software friend?

“Ah, our meal consisting entirely of endangered species has arrived. How I love baby seal flambé with just a smattering of de bald eagle.

“Oh, look my serfs are attempting to amuse you by chopping off their own hands. They are so eager to please. It almost breaks my heart to set them on fire for my children’s amusement”


Jason said...

You should probably give this and your camoflauge bit to an Arab comic...... so funny when Arabs do their own accent!!!!

Lori Mocha said...

Stupid rich people

I will hate them until I die.

Or until I am one.

John Delaney said...

It is interesting how you can always find something to do with that extra money.

BTW: You forgot dessert. Chocolated covered Panda eyeballs perhaps?