Monday, November 22, 2004

My New Favorite City

I'm writing this from San Francisco, in the cosmopolitan outdoor shopping mall known as Union Square. How cosmopolitan, you ask? Let's just say that I'm typing while sipping a double macchiato and gazing into a central courtyard flanked by Macy's, Saks and Williams-Sonoma in which an industrial crew of 10 unfortunate Mexicans install lights on a giant Christmas tree. Did I mention they have wireless internet access throughout the outdoor square? Or that I haven't seen a black person since landing three days ago?

I should mention that within this context, by "cosmpopolitan" I mean "faux-suburban."

San Francisco is a great city to visit if you're a straight guy like myself. It's the only city in which I can flirt my way out of a speeding ticket and women actually like it when you look at their breasts. Women here look at a straight man the way a starving man looks at a pint of double fudge - with that particular mix of longing, greed, and desperation that lets you know as long as you have a pulse, she's interested. It's nice to be objectified.


Maulleigh said...

Meh; you forget about the rich deposit of tech guys down the peninsula with money to burn.

┼Żana Dark said...

Those tech guys are probably closet homos. I like funny looking characters.