Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Thank you, Interweb

Every once in a while, in between emails from african bankers promising me two million dollars if I'll only send them my credit card information and emails from women who are having sex with donkeys, the internet redeems itself by bubbling up a little kernal of smart. Here are two recent examples:

1) on "Intelligent Design" (from Craigslist):

Do you enjoy electricity? Jet engines? Semi-conductors?

Thank the scientific method. Almost all of the technological progress that mankind has enjoyed has taken place in the past 300 years. This is thanks to a system of thought that focuses only on natural explanations for phenomenon in the world around us that survive numerous tests and retests.

The "theory" of evolution was also derived from this same marvelous mode of thought. However, let us define our terminology: technically, evolution is in fact only a "theory." However, "gravity" to this day is referred to as Newton's Theory of Gravitation. EVERYTHING in science is a theory, since the only proof that scientists rely upon for formulating their beliefs are PAST observations of PAST events.

However, take comfort in the fact that this minor technicality does nothing to impair the "truth" of scientific observations the next time you use a USB flash drive; everytime you plug one in, you are single-handedly proving the truth of Quantum Mechanics.

Thus, no true scientific theory would look at the complexity of the world around us, throw up its hands and say, "It's SO COMPLEX! I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! IT MUST HAVE BEEN A SPOOKY INVISIBLE FATHER FIGURE LIVING IN THE SKY WHO CREATED IT."

This is not to say that there might not be some sort of creator - however, calling the belief in such a being "science" is anathema to the very underpinnings of our civilization as we know it.

In sum - you are free to believe in it. However, you're not allowed to call it "science."



2) On how to screw over homophibic christian groups(thestranger.com):

1. Go to www.family.org and you will see their home page.

2. Once you're at the home page, look for the "Resources" link in the blue bar on the left-hand side, right above the "Search" box, and click it.

3. Under the "Resource Category" menu on the left-hand side, you'll notice categories such as "Homosexuality." Go ahead and click that for shits and giggles.

4. It's time to start shopping! Scroll down a little bit and feel the homophobia flow. How about a nice copy of A Parent's Guide to Preventing Homosexuality? Go ahead and click the "Add to Cart" button.

5. Now comes a tough decision: Do you have the book sent to yourself so you can sell it on eBay for cash (my personal favorite) or do you keep it on your mantel as a high-larious conversation piece to point at and laugh when your friends and family come over? Or do you send it to a jerk? I always opt for sending it to myself. Yes, you may end up on the Focus on the Family mailing list (though I've been doing this for some time and have never received anything beyond what I ordered), but reading Focus on the Family's junk mail is a good way to keep tabs on their activities and it will cost them even more money in postage.

Please note: Focus on the Family won't send you more than $100 worth of materials for free in any given shopping trip, so be sure to keep it reasonable and return often.

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